I like a milder cheese. You go deeper into the woods it becomes obnoxious. Like if cheese was a person it'd be a hipster. Avoid that cheese. Recently, the Cadillac! the king cheese! is parm or shredded mozzarella. It that cheese was a person it'd be like a good shit and it'd help you pack boxes and move.

Cheese on toast has got to be right up there.

About once a week, I like a slice of pizza, if it's good pizza. This is pretty good pizza. New York Pizza is the best. I like thin pizzas, crisp with a nice combination of cheese and tomato, I don't like all the extras. A food I HATE is eggs. I can't stand the look of them, the smell of them, I am anti-egg.

You know, there's a place not far from Warner Brothers, I think it was called the Godfather? And they made all kinds of sandwiches with smashed avocado and sprouts and stuff like that. And they really tasted good. And when you were having a bad day, I remember a particularly rough movie, you'd get sandwiches from this place. And they were very filling and very tasty, and then you'd forget about the morning.

It's a tie between Fruit Loops and Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries

Chilaquiles and mole when it's really mole. My Abuelita made a blend of Mexican and Hungarian food that has never been replicated in my life.

I love peanut butter and diet coke. A scoop in the morning with a cold DC straight from the fridge is a real wake-up call.

CHEX. Chex Rice cereal. Yes, the most blandest cereal possible. I love cereal that tastes like cardboard. Yes, I know it's weird. My morning cereal is Chex, Almond Milk, and then I put in a bunch of berries - without fail!

My favorite breakfast food? I really just like a bowl of pineapple, to tell you the truth. I just like some fruit in the morning. Some pineapple and a side of bacon.

I will say Raisin Bran Crunch, but that's just for today.

- Do as good a job as Trent Reznor scoring “The Social Network” - Play against the Lakers and juke NBA point guard Steve Blake - Hit an NBA 3-pointer - Play right field in a Major League Baseball game, and catch a pop-up, and easily throw it back to the infield - Act as well as any actor - Every girl has, at minimum, a 20% crush on him

i love portland. i love anywhere where people are allowed to dress like they're in a traveling circus, but really are just baristas.

I don't know. It makes sense, doesn't it? The thing is, my name is Chevy, and their name for Chevrolet would have to be "Chevrolet." And also, I'd sue 'em for as much as I possibly could!

Oh, that's a good question. If Hitler had a time machine, who do you think he'd go back and kill. Hmm. Well, boy oh boy, that's a funnier question than I can deliver an answer to I think. In a related story I sent Adam Eget in a time machine back to kill Hitler, and he became mesmerized by Hitler's black eyes. Adam says his eyes were deep black and inviting. So he came back with all sorts of decorations on him that Hitler had put him on for god knows what, he didn't get back for four years, I thought he'd be back in a day, but yeah, so Adam Eget, he can show you a few goose-steps now. But that's not really answering the question: OH I know he would kill! The greatest man who ever lived, and...[Read more]

If you start to smell like tuna a day after having eaten tuna - that's too much tuna.

I can but I won't man. I'm too high and I got people to make laugh over here. Do it yourself or consider a rock garden. It's cheaper and easier on our mother earth, who is in a fight with our father earth right now. Something about hiding the eggs in places that are too easy to find.

Q: What is the best way that you used humor to defuse a potentially dangerous situation? A: Haha, not sure what you mean here bud? Do you imagine a scenario where I'm in a dangerous situation with friends getting mugged and I'm like "Guys, I got this" and start doing bits and the robbers start laughing and let us go? That would be kinda cool, but hasn't happened so far.

No, unfortunately I'm not. I have attempted to be a wizard on several occasions. I studied for about a year and a half at Ansontolliver's Wizard School...it wasn't a full year and a half. At the conclusion of which, Anson pulled me aside and said, "I don't want you to waste any more of your money with me. I think it's best for me to let you know you don't have what it takes to be a wizard." And for however sad I was on that day, I respect Anson so much for giving me the straight talk.

It's more fascinated than scared. He says things that even Buddha goes "...what did that mean?"

I saw Louie CK naked.