I started when i was 17. I got a good head start, skill-building wise, but I sometimes think I missed out on a lot of “Life” that I could be drawing from now. Try to go to college and get some knowlege. If you don’t do that, make a deliberate attempt to read a lot and educate yourself, so that you don’t just become a siv for American pop culture. If you spend all your time on stage talking about the cover of People magazine, you won’t go far, you won’t last, and you’ll be bored before you get good. Take advantage of the head start you’re giving yourself by stopping as often as possible to live your life, explore America and grow as a person. When you go to some shit town to do a one-nighte...[Read more]

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

The best advice I ever got was from Rodney Dangerfield, who when I asked him a question about something in comedy, just looked at me for a second and then went, "You'll figure it out."

Don't be afraid of life the way I was. Get married, start a family, you'll be fine. I waited way too long to do it and I have a lot of regret about that. It'll be the best thing you ever do.

[Are you a healthy comedian? - Louis asked this question to those in the "Alt Standup Comedy Google Group"] I know a lot of you out there have a diet that consists of Hardees and Taco Bell with the occasional frozen buffalo wings heated up in the condo microwave, and that your exercize regimen… doesn’t exist. Personally, one of the reasons I chose standup as a life is because it allowed me to lie on a floor for several hours eating lard and crying, only having to pull myself together for an hour a day or so. But if you want to have any longevity as a comedian, or if you want
 your brain and body to provide you with any consistent creative flow, 
you have to eat somewhat right and do some ex...[Read more]

For me, it’s not really about weight loss. Training just makes me sharper and mostly increases my endurance. let me put it to you all this way: Trying to be a standup comedian for 
a living, or beyond that, trying to pursue a life in comedy that has
 longevity and bredth, is crazily hard. Lots of folks say it takes 15, maybe 20 years to make a great comic.
 Lots of people start out with a lot of talent but by the time they hit
 that many years they’ve given up, become bitter and crusty or have died 
from ill health and depression. Outside of all that, it seems to me that if you’re trying to do
 something extraordinary, which succeeding as a comedian is, if only by 
virtue of the fact that...[Read more]

You know, there's weddings and then there's marriage. Weddings, I think, are the biggest waste of money and emotion that humans participate in their life. Now the marriage, I think, I don't know, all the advice I'm going to give you you're gonna ignore anyway, you know what I mean? It's like a commencement speech. They're all kind of entertaining and we watch them online for a little bit and then we forget it. But I would say, before a wedding? Have fun at your wedding. Don't feel like you have to talk to your friends- I mean to your parent's friends or your in-laws. Just have fun with whoever you're marrying and have good food. You know? That's all people really care about, is food. I mean,...[Read more]

No matter how bad things get, if you make yourself say "thank you for everything just as it is" it makes it better- even if just from making you laugh from the irony

Decide whether or not being hard on yourself is proactive or completely undermining.

How do you feel about homelessness?

I probably wouldn't tell me shit. I would probably say, "Good luck, bitch!" One of the most fascinating lessons I've absorbed about life is that the struggle is good. You can't know tomorrow, because if you did you would never go about trying to create it the same way. The uncertainty and doubt that fuck with our minds are the same forces that make accomplishments and achievements so fucking amazing when you pull them off. It's almost like life has to suck sometimes to appreciate what's cool. My 20 year old self would have to figure out all this shit the hard way, just like I did. Just like I'm still doing today. If I could go forward in time to when I'm 90 I would probably give the me of t...[Read more]

I wouldn't!! Not because I didn't make SO MANY MISTAKES but because those mistakes led me to my wife and because I met her I got to be the father to this amazing kid that teaches me that the ladder across the abyss is made of mistakes.

My advice is when you move to a new area, put a rolled up newspaper under your shirt, knock on your neighbors doors and when they open it let them see the bulge under your shirt and tell them "this is what's up now". Then wink and snap your fingers and walk away.

"Pay attention to what people do, not what they say."

Exercise your right to vote! Whatever you feel drunk, stop, because 18 year olds have a hard time figuring out how much they can drink. Be with a good friend who can make sure you get home safe, and try one new thing on your birthday every year.

Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier

My advice is work hard to accomplish your goals, stay humble and try to empathize with people who hurt you. Because you will be hurt by friends, family, partners and it will feel very intense because you're young. Think about how awful high school was and how it felt as though it would never end and you never even think about it now - I think our twenties will be like that too.

I suppose I am most proud of the fact that I am still here working in comedy and doing what I love. In life there are a lot of forces that can try to bring you down, but if you stick to your vision and keep at it, you will find success.

Life advice? Oh boy. I don't know, it's a tie between "Keep on keepin' on" and "Life's a garden, dig it." But I don't have any great secrets other than I think I have to believe it all happens for a reason, because whatever happens, even if it's hard to get through, it ultimately seems to work out. Sorry if that's too heavy for everybody.

Well, I would say: Holy Ghost Power (you've got to be one of God's favorites, because he whispers in my ear EVERY Day). But here's the REAL answer: moderation, and do what you are supposed to do. Listen to that little voice. You'll be a lot less stressed. Most stress comes from the fact that we're lying to ourselves and the people around us. Follow your primal impulse. And realize that there's no escaping plain old death.