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Posts tagged 'Foam corner' (98)
Can I ask you a question, Scott? Cause I can’t find this anywhere. Is the movie Precious based on the book Push by Sapphire?
I’m starting a campaign to change bygones into something. Everyone’s always trying to let them be bygones.
It’s weird that pineapple supposedly makes your semen taste better, yet semen makes pineapple taste terrible!
I’m not impressed by juggling. Ok whatever you learned how to do that. That’s not a thing I chose to learn.
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
Coins are so worthless now that it’s gone from “You can keep the change” to “Can you keep the change?”
You know when someone asks you a question, like if I said “Do you know the time” and you go “What? Oh it’s 7.” Why did you say “What?” You then went on to answer the question, so don’t fuckin’ waste my time.
In life, if someone farts it’s funny. If you go into a guy’s bathroom, everyone’s just farting and being very serious. Why is it not funny in there? It’s hilarious still!
This is topical about Earwolf. Jeff from Earwolf just had a baby, and they named the baby “Arden.” Do you think before that happened they said, “Let’s name her Arden in here!”
I think that an e-mail should be called an e-letter. You say, “I just got an e-mail”, but you wouldn’t say “I just got a mail.” You’d sound stupid.
This is a true story: One time I said to a guy that I loved learning new things. I was like, “I’m a bit of an infomaniac.” And he thought I said nymphomaniac. So he fucked me. And I said, “No, no, no! I like info! I’m an infomanic!” and he said, “Well here’s some info, you just got fucked. Clean yourself up!”
Toothpicks are bullshit. They don’t work. If you have something in your teeth, they won’t get it out. They’re thicker than every tooth gap.
When you see an audience clapping, it makes me feel like we’re animals. “I like that! I hit my hands!” It’s so dumb of us!
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