I finished writing my book, and I started writing another book, because I think I like writing books. I'm writing a children's book, Victoria, and it's about a boy, you know how all little children are different? You know how the beautiful thing is about little children are all being different? Well this is about a little boy who is the same. That's what the book's about. And I think there's a bidding war right now, but I believe it will be either Harper Collins or self-published. So down to us two.

It comes to me. Part of my leaving the media on all day is a way of…my mind has trained itself to have a very sensitive system of radar about certain words, expressions, topics, and areas of discussion that come up. There are things that interest me more than others, and then there are things that jump out. There’s one thing I learned about the mind as a young man, when I quit school. I read a book - half of it, anyway - called Psycho-Cybernetics. The author said that the brain is a goal-seeking and problem-solving machine, and if you put into it the parameters of what it is you need or want or expect, and you feed it, it will do a lot of work without you even noticing. Because the brain doe...[Read more]

They were all fun for different reasons. Sometimes when writing the history of UCB or the times at SNL were fun, because they reminded me of all those stories, and I would start laughing thinking of all the ridiculous people I surrounded myself with. I was just texting with Fred Armisen, and telling him that i wrote nice things about him int he book, and he was very touched, and then I reminded him that his lawyers made me do it, and I said "His lawyers will sue you if you don't write nice things about him in your book."

The best thing you can do is write, write, write, and write. And read. A lot. And fail. The more you fail the better you'll get. At SNL you could have an amazing show and then just BOMB the following Wednesday at the table read. Stay tough. Don't compare yourself to other people. Just follow your path and have fun.

It was actually really similar in the big creative ways: thinking about how to find comedy and surprise and emotion in the unexpected and the everyday.

It [writing a speech] is very much like when I have a job writing a screenplay. I think I wanted to do something true and I wanted to do something helpful. What complicates it, in addition to the fact that that’s a hard thing to figure out, is that I also struggle with wanting you to like me. In my fantasy I leave here and people are saying, ‘Great speech!’ you know, and, ‘Not only is he a great writer but boy, I really learned something tonight, he really brought it!’ So as much as I know that this neediness of mine exists, I also have a difficult time extricating myself from it, or even fully recognizing it when it’s happening.

I wish I could. i have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my bb when I think of something.

I think any writing benefits you. I'm writing every day even though it's not necessarily stand up writing. Just sit down, try not to be distracted and write.

Writing a script is different because you have to write from different perspectives other than your own. I had to write lines for my fictional wife, Leif, Artie [characters in his HBO show Crashing]... you have to imagine more than just your own opinions. A very good excercise just in general!

Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. (Mr. Burns)

9am. Wake up, turn on some music I like, put on a pot of coffee, and sit down to start writing! A few productive hours and then a break for lunch, and then a couple of more hours if possible: sounds like a plan! 9:15am-4:30pm: Read, text, look up stuff on the internet, read, text, look up stuff on the internet, in a trance cycle 4:30pm: Think "Jesus Christ, have I really done NOTHING all day?!? The day is almost fucking over! I am really fucking worthless." 4:30pm-7:30pm: Write like a maniac. 7:30pm: Decide, "okay, at least I got SOMETHING done today. Tomorrow, I'm going wake up early, be at my desk by 9, and really make up for lost time. REPEAT