[Are you a healthy comedian? - Louis asked this question to those in the "Alt Standup Comedy Google Group"] I know a lot of you out there have a diet that consists of Hardees and Taco Bell with the occasional frozen buffalo wings heated up in the condo microwave, and that your exercize regimen… doesn’t exist. Personally, one of the reasons I chose standup as a life is because it allowed me to lie on a floor for several hours eating lard and crying, only having to pull myself together for an hour a day or so. But if you want to have any longevity as a comedian, or if you want
 your brain and body to provide you with any consistent creative flow, 
you have to eat somewhat right and do some ex...[Read more]

You know it's weird, because comedians, like a band will go on tour but comedians, we're always doing it. We're always in the process of creating new material and doing shows. There are people who will not tour, but like, Seinfeld is always going out doing theatre shows. What we intentionally planned, my wife and I, was I wanted to tour and I also wanted to be with my family. So I will get on a tour bus and go city to city with my kids, and I'll check into a hotel. There will be a hotel pool, or we'll do some local activity, and I'll do my show at night. Which is exhausting, but it provides some normalcy, and I won't be absent from their life. I don't know how much longer we will be able to...[Read more]

[In response to Louis CK's question: Are you a healthy comedian?] I try to do coke a couple times a month to get my heart rate up though Viagra can really get the ticker running at high speed especially if you are trying to come while you’re extraordinarily drunk. Cialis to a lesser extent but for a longer duration. Often times on the road I will take very long walks when I wake up and
 don’t know where I am and need to get back to my hotel. Terror can at times be a great replacement for a sauna to help you 
sweat out the toxins. Sushi is very healthy I’ve heard and will help clean out your system 
the longer you leave it sitting around before consumption. Dry heaves
 help keep the abs ti...[Read more]

For me, it’s not really about weight loss. Training just makes me sharper and mostly increases my endurance. let me put it to you all this way: Trying to be a standup comedian for 
a living, or beyond that, trying to pursue a life in comedy that has
 longevity and bredth, is crazily hard. Lots of folks say it takes 15, maybe 20 years to make a great comic.
 Lots of people start out with a lot of talent but by the time they hit
 that many years they’ve given up, become bitter and crusty or have died 
from ill health and depression. Outside of all that, it seems to me that if you’re trying to do
 something extraordinary, which succeeding as a comedian is, if only by 
virtue of the fact that...[Read more]

[In reply to Louis CK, who was leading a discussion about the importance of maintaining a physical training routine and its relation to comedy] Louis, I concur that poor health leads to sloth and effects your creativity.
Repeating any behavior continually will effect your writing as it gives 
you nothing new to say. I do drugs, yes I do but I only do them socially. Its the fact that I
 talk openly about it that gives the impression that there is a
 frequency. I’ve probably done mushrooms 6 times this year, acid once
 (poor quality), coke maybe 5 or 6 times, and about three xanax a week
to sleep. I dont smoke pot. So smokes and drink are about my only habits and the cigarettes 
certainly n...[Read more]

It’s crazy. Seinfeld calls it the “kit.” You’ve got to have a podcast, a web series, a TV show, you’ve got to be on social media constantly with Snapchat, Instagram, and tweeting all the time. You can’t just have standup anymore. That’s not enough. It’s a lot.