i like what ramana maharshi said when he was dying: "Where could I go?" the question isn't what happens when we die, it's "Who is dying?" The universe certainly seems to be into recycling, so while i don't think my ego makes it persay, i think our essence isn't going anywhere!

The loss of CEW was fucking hard. I saw him with @rosepetalpistol at a place on the east side days before he passed away, his wife and beautiful daughter were there and we talked for 40 minutes about life, the show, and him. It was a huge blow to the show, he was the funniest person on it. So he's irreplaceable and I think that everyone felt that, and I felt worst for the writers and editors, seeing him over and over, writing him out of the show, the whole lot of it. But in the most disgusting and at the same time beautiful way, "the show must go on." I think that saying means something bigger than most people think. The show is the most important thing in many ways, because it is for the w...[Read more]

I just think the closer we (as a species) think we get to God, the closer we get to death.

Cervantes. I found Don Quixote transformative. I mean, I never read anything like that before. Well, I'm reading this norwegian guy and I can't remember his goddamn name. I'm trying to remember! I know what it's called, the book is called My Struggle. By Karl Ove Knausgaard. No wonder I couldn't remember it. The title is even very daring, but it's an unflinching look into mortality, which I like to do. I like to look into mortality, in an unflinching manner. Some days, I'll flinch. Some days I'll be honest with you Victoria, I'll stare into my own mortality in that abyss. I'll flinch. But I can't say the same for Horgalveyeysbadlobad. I'm sure he flinches too, but he writes it down and pret...[Read more]

Q: What’s the best book on the subject of death other than the works of Becker? A: Wow, this person knows the works of Becker? Well that's probably the best one, Becker's Denial of Death. There's a book by Otto Rank, the trauma of Birth, he talks about death in that one a lot. You probably don't want to read about death, but if you do want to read about death, it's a good "summer read."

i think having kids and getting into my mid 40s and some minor health issues have focused my thinking on the subject of death a little more than when i was younger.

Well, the toughest part is questioning the relatives of the victims of a death - a child who was murdered, and you have to talk to their parents, or children who are missing. Those kind of emotional things are always the hardest, you don't like doing them, you have to do it, and it's always, always hard.