It will be okay. i promise you. stay close to your instincts. be vulnerable with your heart. wear your seatbelt. dont spray seed in a town you wouldnt want to raise a child in.

Don't be afraid of life the way I was. Get married, start a family, you'll be fine. I waited way too long to do it and I have a lot of regret about that. It'll be the best thing you ever do.

The first rule of improvisation is “agree” always agree and say “yes” … when you are improvising this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created … so if we’re improvising and I say “freeze I have a gun” and you say “that’s not a gun, it’s your finger” our improvised scene has ground to a halt … now in real life you are obviously not going to agree with everything everyone always says but the “rule of agreement” gets you to at least start from an open minded place … start with a “yes” and see where that takes you … as an improvisor I always find it jarring in real life when I meet someone who’s first answer is “no” …

For me, it’s not really about weight loss. Training just makes me sharper and mostly increases my endurance. let me put it to you all this way: Trying to be a standup comedian for 
a living, or beyond that, trying to pursue a life in comedy that has
 longevity and bredth, is crazily hard. Lots of folks say it takes 15, maybe 20 years to make a great comic.
 Lots of people start out with a lot of talent but by the time they hit
 that many years they’ve given up, become bitter and crusty or have died 
from ill health and depression. Outside of all that, it seems to me that if you’re trying to do
 something extraordinary, which succeeding as a comedian is, if only by 
virtue of the fact that...[Read more]

Always pursue your goal and never give up. If someone can talk you out of what you want to be, then you don't to be it. A friend of mine's father, when I was 18, would walk down the street with me and say "What are you crazy?! You want to be Arthur Godfrey? What are you nuts!? Come work at my factory, I'll make you a foreman someday!" And I never gave up.

Well, I would say: Holy Ghost Power (you've got to be one of God's favorites, because he whispers in my ear EVERY Day). But here's the REAL answer: moderation, and do what you are supposed to do. Listen to that little voice. You'll be a lot less stressed. Most stress comes from the fact that we're lying to ourselves and the people around us. Follow your primal impulse. And realize that there's no escaping plain old death.

After three years of reading youtube comments, I found one that didn't make me want to puke and kill myself. Some kid, talking to another kid underneath a music video: "first things first buddy, no matter how hard you try i guarantee you wont change the way anyone thinks or acts." If I could put that thought in everyone's head on a loop, I could save the world. But, like the kid says, I can't.

‘That’s two hours I’ll never get back,’ is a favourite thing for an angry person to say about a movie he hates. But the thing is, every two hours are two hours he’ll never get back. You cannot hoard your two hourses [sic]. So you are here, and I am here, spending our time as we must, it must be spent. I am trying not to spend this time, as I spend most of my time, trying to get you to like me; trying to control your thoughts, to use my voodoo at the speed of light, the speed of sound, the speed of thought, trying to convince you that your two hours with me are not going to be resented afterwards. It is an ancient pattern of time usage for me, and I’m trying to move deeper, hoping to be hel...[Read more]

There’s another quote that I like, this one’s a little long, but I think it’s good. It’s by a guy named John Garvey: ‘I am increasingly convinced that the need to be right has nothing whatsoever to do with the love of truth, but to face the implications of this means accepting a painful inner emptiness; I am not now what I sense somehow I am meant to be. I do not know what I feel from the bottom of my heart, I need to know. The beginning of wisdom is not to flee from this condition or distract yourself from it. It is essential not to fill it up with answers that have not been earned. It is important to learn how to wait with that emptiness. It is the desire to fill up that emptiness which le...[Read more]

It’s weird to be a human. We get to think about things, we get to wonder. It seems like quite a privileged position in the universe. And I wouldn’t give it up for certainty because when you’re certain you stop being curious. And here’s the one thing I know about the thing you’re certain about; you’re wrong. Of course this is a paradox, how is it possible to know that you can’t know anything? It isn’t, it’s just a theory. And I remain open to being proven wrong. This is also Harold Pinter – I like Harold Pinter: ‘There never is any such thing as one truth to be found in dramatic art, there are many. These truths challenge each other, recoil from each other, reflect each other, ignore each ot...[Read more]

I read an article about bullying recently. Everyone is up in arms about bullying. A vocal minority thinks it’s a good thing. That it’s part of growing up, that it builds character. What was left out of this article and doesn’t seem to be part of the discussion is that bullying is a significant element of our culture. The bullying of children by children doesn’t come from nowhere. The question remains whether bullying is an inherent aspect of human nature, but that doesn’t change the fact that a culture which discourages rather than encourages bullying would have a better chance of curbing it.

That everyone in the world, including myself, is totally nuts.

They definitely shaped how I am now. They really made me deeply appreciate human contact. And the value of friends and family, how precious that is.