After three years of reading youtube comments, I found one that didn't make me want to puke and kill myself. Some kid, talking to another kid underneath a music video: "first things first buddy, no matter how hard you try i guarantee you wont change the way anyone thinks or acts." If I could put that thought in everyone's head on a loop, I could save the world. But, like the kid says, I can't.
I wouldn't!! Not because I didn't make SO MANY MISTAKES but because those mistakes led me to my wife and because I met her I got to be the father to this amazing kid that teaches me that the ladder across the abyss is made of mistakes.
Life is learning how to overcome that kind of stuff. Life is learning how to make it happen when you don't feel like it. Here's the bottom line - it's easy to be a gentleman when you feel like a gentleman. It's VERY difficult to be a gentleman when you feel like an animal. Character is defined in two words - self-control. So just assume the position in life. If you don't feel like working out in life, assume the position and do it anyway.
If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly. (Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
Andre Gregory, the theatre director and writer, once told me that the world wants you cynical. To keep your heart open to possibility.
I really took that to heart. The world needs hope, service, humor and love. It's way too easy to stay jaded and cynical and pessimistic. Such an easy fall-back position - anyone can do it.
Well, I would say: Holy Ghost Power (you've got to be one of God's favorites, because he whispers in my ear EVERY Day).
But here's the REAL answer: moderation, and do what you are supposed to do. Listen to that little voice. You'll be a lot less stressed. Most stress comes from the fact that we're lying to ourselves and the people around us. Follow your primal impulse. And realize that there's no escaping plain old death.
The best advice I ever got was from Rodney Dangerfield, who when I asked him a question about something in comedy, just looked at me for a second and then went, "You'll figure it out."
No matter how bad things get, if you make yourself say "thank you for everything just as it is" it makes it better- even if just from making you laugh from the irony
It will be okay. i promise you. stay close to your instincts. be vulnerable with your heart. wear your seatbelt. dont spray seed in a town you wouldnt want to raise a child in.
Don't be afraid of life the way I was. Get married, start a family, you'll be fine. I waited way too long to do it and I have a lot of regret about that. It'll be the best thing you ever do.
Exercise your right to vote! Whatever you feel drunk, stop, because 18 year olds have a hard time figuring out how much they can drink. Be with a good friend who can make sure you get home safe, and try one new thing on your birthday every year.
Life advice? Oh boy.
I don't know, it's a tie between "Keep on keepin' on" and "Life's a garden, dig it."
But I don't have any great secrets other than I think I have to believe it all happens for a reason, because whatever happens, even if it's hard to get through, it ultimately seems to work out. Sorry if that's too heavy for everybody.
I saw a movie once where Spencer Tracy catches this woman about to kill herself — it's a pretty dark movie for the time — but I forget the name of the movie ["I Take This Woman"], but Spencer Tracy is on a boat and sees a rich, young girl about to throw herself off the boat because her fiance left her for another woman and he's trying to talk her out of suicide and he says to her, "Do you have a job? Do you have anything that you do in your life?" which was a funny thing to ask because she's, like, a 1920s socialite and she said, "No," and he said, "I think you should get a job, because it's very hard to be sad and useful at the same time."
Ever since I saw that I keep that in my head. If y...
That's why I wrote to you, not to tell you to change anything about the way you do things, but just to tell you to take it easy. Nothing you do matters as much as you think. Your greatest achievements aren't yours at all, they're accidents and jokes. You're a puppet, the universe does the work, and it gets the most done when you're moving the least. Surrender, flow, relax. Don't be hard on yourself, don't put pressure on yourself, life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you'll be perfect when you're dead.
I started when i was 17. I got a good head start, skill-building wise, but I sometimes think I missed out on a lot of “Life” that I could be drawing from now. Try to go to college and get some knowlege. If you don’t do that, make a deliberate attempt to read a lot and educate yourself, so that you don’t just become a siv for American pop culture.
If you spend all your time on stage talking about the cover of People magazine, you won’t go far, you won’t last, and you’ll be bored before you get good. Take advantage of the head start you’re giving yourself by stopping as often as possible to live your life, explore America and grow as a person.
When you go to some shit town to do a one-nighte...
[Are you a healthy comedian? - Louis asked this question to those in the "Alt Standup Comedy Google Group"]
I know a lot of you out there have a diet that consists of Hardees and Taco Bell with the occasional frozen buffalo wings heated up in the condo microwave, and that your exercize regimen… doesn’t exist. Personally, one of the reasons I chose standup as a life is because it allowed me to lie on a floor for several hours eating lard and crying, only having to pull myself together for an hour a day or so. But if you want to have any longevity as a comedian, or if you want your brain and body to provide you with any consistent creative flow, you have to eat somewhat right and do some ex...
I stopped blaming the world for my problems. You can only walk around so long being like, “Chicks, man. They’re psychos.” At some point you realize that you’re the common factor. I wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be around. I’m not the most sane person. But until you sit down and talk to somebody about your issues, they’re foreign to you. I realized I was pretty fucked-up.
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Dan Harmon