I think that Freud just really wanted to fuck his mom and then was like “Hey guys, isn’t it crazy that we all wanna do that?” And then his friends were probably like “I don’t!” And he’s like “Yeah you do, I’m fuckin’ Freud”.
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
I’m pretty sad today. I just had my first unenjoyable Gotye listening session. I knew it was coming but now it’s just “Somebody That I Used to Know” that I used to know.
When you see an audience clapping, it makes me feel like we’re animals. “I like that! I hit my hands!” It’s so dumb of us!
I went to a Jack-in-the-Box that was open 24 hours and I got there at the 26th hour and it was closed.
When someone talks about like, “I just met this girl and she was down for whatever.” That just means like ass fucking. That’s the only other thing!
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
How come the shelves at Bed, Bath and Beyond be so tall? They should just call that place Tall Shelves, Tall Shelves, and Tall Shelves.
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
The Burbank airport is called the Bob Hope Airport. That’s two things I don’t wanna do while flying: “bob” and “hope”.
You know how everyone says to get your porn name; you use your pet’s name and the street you grew up on? I have a new system and it works for anybody. Take your first name; change it to “Sir”. Then take your last name and change it to “Fucksalot”.
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
If you go into a bank, can you get in trouble for yelling, “everybody get down!” without a gun or anything? Can you get in trouble for telling everyone to get down? No, James Brown does it every night!
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