I always think about my junior high dance, everybody grinding to Jodeci and thinking about how we were all literally children and how weird that would’ve been to look at as an adult. Like, 300 children grinding to Jodeci, just the funky sweat smell in the auditorium. What were we doing? But that’s the power of Jodeci. [Laughs.]

In the pilot when Bill is up in the tree and the big kids are throwing stuff at him. That happened to me and my best friend, minus the fireworks. We were hanging on and crying. That was just such a regular day back then. No supervision, no cameras, didn't even dawn on me to tell my mom what happened. There's also a scene when Kevin sneaks out of the house w/ his amp and guitar, and he falls on his face to save his gear. That was my friend Dave Kushner, it happened to him. He does all the music for F is for Family. He was the rhythm guitarist for Velvet Revolver, I can't believe I even know the guy! He landed face first and knocked all his teeth out. The next morning he drank a 40 through a s...[Read more]

good idea to grow your hair longer

I don't know. I remember when I was 9 years old, I would ask the bus driver why he wanted to drive the bus. We would go to Dodgers Games in Brooklyn, and my friends would want autographs, and I would want to ask questions. My 15 year old inherited that gene from me, he is constantly asking questions. I don't know where that gene came from. That's one of the products of the Jewish faith, encouraging learning. I did not go to college, I only went to high school, but emphasis on learning and being creative. My favorite question is: Why? Because Why can't be answered in one word.

i tripped balls and listened to Seal in 8th grade

I didn’t start coming into my own as a guy until I was 12 years old. I can actually remember the moment. I went to a party. I was scared to go to this party, but I ended up going anyway. And when I got there, it was like I could tell everyone was really happy I came. And then a kid explained to me, "Man, it’s not as much fun when you’re not here." And I was like, Oh, I didn’t know that. I didn’t realize that kids thought I was funny—that I had actual friends. Even at 14, when I started doing stand-up, I was always a pack animal. I’d like to be a lone wolf, but I’m just not.

This is how much I wanted to be a comedian and didn’t realize it: I had a paper route for years when I was a kid, and when I was on my route I used to recite George Carlin bits, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy — I used to recite his “Hit by a Car” bit word-for-word. I would fantasize about doing it in front of my entire grade in the school auditorium. But I still wasn’t able to make the connection of maybe that means you want to be a comedian. It didn’t seem possible. But I know the exact moment when it seemed possible. I was working in a warehouse with this guy and he was into comedy — first time I’d ever met somebody who was into comedy the way I was. And I used to go over to his house to drin...[Read more]

I collect booze in my stomach some nights? But when I was a kid, I was into coin collecting, rock collecting, and chess. I also played bridge, and whist, I think is the name. It's a weird game.

junior seau, ryan sandberg, and dan Marino. random as fuck i know

Up the Creek Xanadu Better Off Dead Revenge of the Nerds

It did, in that I met people I respect and continue to work with, like John Mulaney, Mike Birbiglia, Alison Becker, Brian Donovan, Ed Herro, etcetera.

I liked most things about Georgetown. I miss it a lot. I kind of liked that Birbiglia, Kroll and me and the Improv group were the only people doing comedy there. We had little competition.

He turned me onto Don DeLillo. And he looked at us like we were all failing him....sweetly.

True fact: The business program I went to actually let you negotiate grades. Like it was part of the curriculum. They said "In the real world everything is a negotiation.." or something like that. So if you could prove that you deserved a higher grade because you did something "entrepreneurial" in the real world, they'd give it to you. I would say things like, "I changed the tire on my bike instead of bringing it to a bike shop, which shows self initiative - a trait that's very important to running a business." And they'd bump me up one letter grade. Nuts.

He was. But he was also always a very good, diligent writer.

Eat ramen, and also, don't wait until the day before the final to cram for the test (which is what I did for my economics final).