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The very fact that we humans are here with this consciousness, is an accident. If the dinosaurs hadn’t been wiped out, the mammals, who were very small and had no room to expand their domain, would never have evolved into large mammals and into human beings and into human consciousness. They would’ve remained the size of ferrets. Well the fact that something, whether it was and asteroid, or Darwinism, or whatever it is that set it along, that blocked out the sun long enough to kill off the dinosaurs, made room for us. That’s an accident, that’s a joke. People take that seriously, people think God did that. People say, “We’re destined to do things.” People say, “We have rights.” There is no s...
It’s just a series of steps that take place haphazardly. The file cabinet contains most of the things that are sort of in waiting, ready to be transformed into a usable language, you know? That’s the holding pen. The observations keep coming and the comparisons that the observations represent that are, you know you have a world view and it’s like your matrix and so, when you see things happen, you’re comparing those things to what you already know and how you already feel. That produces your impression. So those are things I write down, those impressions that I get from the world. So, some of them are in half form states, some of them are just ideas, just highlight, the key words, patterns, ...
My favorite place to perform is Philadelphia, because that's where i started and that's the place that made me.
I had a woman that might have been about 50-60 years old run up and kiss me on the mouth. I was shocked. Her name was Casey.
In Atlantic City, when a guy threw a buffalo wing at my face. I took it to the cheek, and wiped a little sauce off.
Eddie Murphy's rant about his day. Richard Pryor's joke about the monkey fucking him in the air. Bill Cosby's joke about his wife and kids. Dave Chapelle's joke about the little baby that was selling weed, that was pretty funny too. Just to name a few.
Seth Rogen and myself are really good friends. We started out in the business together, so he was calling friends for favors, he wanted me to do a cameo and I agreed. It was a funny cameo; he explained the premise to me and I agreed.
Well I don't know if brands should be more like Bill Murray, but there's no question they should suck less. I think if you just hold that though in front of yourself, like a marching brand trumpet player has the music mounted on his trumpet, about how to make ads suck less, then that will inform your daily life. It will be the last thing you think before you go to bed, and the first thing you think about in the morning, and you will add up the cumulative data of which ads are bearable to you, which ads you respond to. Ads aren't bad in themselves. It's just the attitude. We all have to go to the store, we all have to have groceries, but there's a way to sell you things to make the exchange m...
Well that's a large question, isn't it? Because you're talking about recreation, which everyone is in favor of. You are also talking about something that has been illegal for so many years, and marijuana is responsible for such a large part of the prison population, for the crime of self-medication. And it takes millions and billions of dollars by incarcerating people for this crime against oneself as best can be determined. People are realizing that the war on drugs is a failure, that the amount of money spent, you could have bought all the drugs with that much money rather than create this army of people and incarcerated people. I think the terror of marijuana was probably overstated. I do...
No, I like pickles, I put pickles in lots of sandwiches. I'm big on pickles, but I've never had them with peanut butter. I really like peanut butter though. I'm kind of surprised because I like them both so much that I haven't combined them.
Monuments Men has a great script and a fascinating story that no one has ever heard before. And there are a whole bunch of great actors in the movie. You hate to say that a film is an important film but I think it's a movie that people will say enlightened them about something that was forgotten, and it's a situation that exists around the world now. For example when we invaded Iraq, we weren't really taking care of business and a bunch of criminals went in and looted the museums. It's what's happening in Syria now. It's far worse than stealing gold or diamonds. It's stealing a culture, a mystery, and if those works of art are stolen, we are losing the ability to learn about culture and abou...
The best experience with a fan? It happens sometimes where someone will say "I was going through a really hard time. I was going through a really hard time, and I was just morose or depressed."
And I met one person who said I couldn't find anything to cheer me up and I was so sad. And I Just watched Caddyshack, and I watched it for about a week and it was the only thing that cheered me up. And it was the only thing that cheered me up and made me laugh and made me think that my life wasn't hopeless. That I had a way to see what was best about life, that there was a whole lot of life that was wonderful. And I happen to know (from her own spirit) that that person has really triumphed as an art...
Q: The rumor is that you went up to someone that was eating french fries, and took a french fry and ate it and said: "No one will ever believe you."
Did this really happen, or is it an urban legend?
A: Well I have no idea what you're talking about.
And the last place I played golf? Well the last place I can think of is I was working on a job in Hawaii with Emma Stone, and one day I got to play golf at a place called Weilea on a place called Oahu. I played with Scott Simpson, and I played with 3 other great, great Hawaiian guys who were SO much fun and so positive, and one was the club champion. And when you play with great players, you play better, it just elevates your game. A high tide raises all boats, you've heard that one?
I played so well, I won $50. Winning $50 playing golf? That's money. So I won $50, and they couldn't believe I could putt, and that I didn't choke. We played into the sunset on the pacific ocean, with leaning p...
My favorite place to play golf is in Ireland. that's where my ancestors come from, and it's the most beautiful country to play golf in, and when you come as a guest to play golf you are treated like a king.
You know, there's a place not far from Warner Brothers, I think it was called the Godfather? And they made all kinds of sandwiches with smashed avocado and sprouts and stuff like that. And they really tasted good. And when you were having a bad day, I remember a particularly rough movie, you'd get sandwiches from this place. And they were very filling and very tasty, and then you'd forget about the morning.
Well probably the most horrifying thing was that there was something called Nero Edict that was distributed by the Fuhrer, Hitler, which said that if the Reich should fall, or if Hitler was killed or taken, that all the art that was stolen should be destroyed. And a fair amount of the art was burned, things were burned that will never be returned, a lot was burned even before the Nero Edict because of the modern art, that was degenerate.
In the hunt for the art, they found hidden in the salt mines where the art was hidden, they found the ENTIRE gold supply of Germany.
ENTIRE. Like they had moved their gold, their Fort Knox, into a mine, and this small group of guys searching for art in a m...
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