keep sleeping.....then get off the couch.

I think any writing benefits you. I'm writing every day even though it's not necessarily stand up writing. Just sit down, try not to be distracted and write.

write everyday. Try to treat it like a job.

I am painfully conscious of the harm that occurs when participating in the media with unclear intentions. I do not want to be a salesman, I do not want to scream, ‘Buy me!’ or, ‘Watch me!’ And I don’t want to do that tonight. What I’m trying to express – what I’d like to express – is the notion that, by being honest, thoughtful and aware of the existence of other living beings, a change can begin to happen in how we think of ourselves and the world, and ourselves in the world. We are not the passive audience for this big, messed up power play. We don’t have to be. We can say who we are, we can assert our right to existence, we can say to the bullies and conmen, the people who try to shame u...[Read more]

I always try to write from what it is that I’m thinking about at the time that I’m writing. I always try to centre it on that, because that’s the sort of lack of perspective thing that I was trying to talk about before. There are too many safeguards when you put yourself out of it, and say you’re going to write about this. The best way for me to find that place where I’ve got a lot of emotion and a lot of agitation and a lot of fear or whatever, is to make that what the story is or what the movie is. And not try to hide it.

It comes to me. Part of my leaving the media on all day is a way of…my mind has trained itself to have a very sensitive system of radar about certain words, expressions, topics, and areas of discussion that come up. There are things that interest me more than others, and then there are things that jump out. There’s one thing I learned about the mind as a young man, when I quit school. I read a book - half of it, anyway - called Psycho-Cybernetics. The author said that the brain is a goal-seeking and problem-solving machine, and if you put into it the parameters of what it is you need or want or expect, and you feed it, it will do a lot of work without you even noticing. Because the brain doe...[Read more]

9am. Wake up, turn on some music I like, put on a pot of coffee, and sit down to start writing! A few productive hours and then a break for lunch, and then a couple of more hours if possible: sounds like a plan! 9:15am-4:30pm: Read, text, look up stuff on the internet, read, text, look up stuff on the internet, in a trance cycle 4:30pm: Think "Jesus Christ, have I really done NOTHING all day?!? The day is almost fucking over! I am really fucking worthless." 4:30pm-7:30pm: Write like a maniac. 7:30pm: Decide, "okay, at least I got SOMETHING done today. Tomorrow, I'm going wake up early, be at my desk by 9, and really make up for lost time. REPEAT

Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns. (Mr. Burns)

Question: how do you organize and develop your material and various jokes? Do you have notebooks full of detailed notes and jokes, or do you just sketch them out and wing it on stage? Answer: I believe in detailed notes and jokes, and also winging it onstage. But, not for your first open mic. For your first open mic, my advice to you would be to make sure you have what you're gonna do memorized, to the point that one of your friends can gently slap you across the face, and you'll still be able to get it out of your mouth.

I've been run ragged with press for the special lately, but when I'm home and in a routine, I make coffee, eggs, etc and try to write. Treat it like a job.

One thing that has helped me is to try to think as objectively as possibly when you're teaching them things or correcting them. One thing I ALWAYS do when I correct my kids is to let them know I did the exact same things they did. We all make mistakes, and that's how you learn and grow. I try to be as vulnerable in that regard as I can. I also tell them that I love them as much as life itself and that my goal in explaining something or correcting them is just to make them grow and develop into the happiest, best person they can be. Even though I'm not sure how much of that gets in at 3 or 4, I think if you keep explaining things that way eventually it becomes a standard idea in their little ...[Read more]

You gotta stop lying. You know… I mean it’s difficult to tell the truth, but you gotta start telling the truth cause it kills you, it takes something out of you when you’re…. a phony. You know, I’d rather die than to be phony really, cause… it kills me. And I’m…there’s nothing worse... like I’m depressed, but I’m not suicidal. Do you know how like… horrible it is just being to… to want to kill yourself but you just can’t, you won’t kill yourself? Do you understand what that is? So I had to figure out a way how to make myself happy….and that’s not to lie.

I think the best way to begin to combat the systemic indoctrination is to look at intention. The aphorism, ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions,’ doesn’t ring true to me. I think intention is at the bottom of everything. My intentions are shifting and complex and often at odds with each other. And if I know what they are, and watch them closely as they slip and slide all over the place, I have a better chance of putting something honest into the world and this is my goal. My own Hippocratic Oath – I do not want to harm.

It [writing a speech] is very much like when I have a job writing a screenplay. I think I wanted to do something true and I wanted to do something helpful. What complicates it, in addition to the fact that that’s a hard thing to figure out, is that I also struggle with wanting you to like me. In my fantasy I leave here and people are saying, ‘Great speech!’ you know, and, ‘Not only is he a great writer but boy, I really learned something tonight, he really brought it!’ So as much as I know that this neediness of mine exists, I also have a difficult time extricating myself from it, or even fully recognizing it when it’s happening.

Say who you are, really say it in your life and in your work. Tell someone out there who is lost, someone not yet born, someone who won’t be born for 500 years. Your writing will be a record of your time. It can’t help but be that. But more importantly, if you’re honest about who you are, you’ll help that person be less lonely in their world because that person will recognise him or herself in you and that will give them hope. It’s done so for me and I have to keep rediscovering it. It has profound importance in my life. Give that to the world, rather than selling something to the world. Don’t allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work a...[Read more]

When I talk about my cancer on stage, doing standup, it is a cathartic experience. And it is important to be honest and talk about things that matter, even dark and scary things. The special that we shot about my cancer helped a lot of people. Early detection is the key to survival. So if you ever feel sick, or that something may be wrong with your body. Go to the doctor, don't be afraid. It could save your life.

I just find the more personal and brutally honest you are, the more people connect with your material - be it standup or narrative.

I am painfully conscious of the harm that occurs when participating in the media with unclear intentions. I do not want to be a salesman, I do not want to scream, ‘Buy me!’ or, ‘Watch me!’ And I don’t want to do that tonight. What I’m trying to express – what I’d like to express – is the notion that, by being honest, thoughtful and aware of the existence of other living beings, a change can begin to happen in how we think of ourselves and the world, and ourselves in the world. We are not the passive audience for this big, messed up power play. We don’t have to be. We can say who we are, we can assert our right to existence, we can say to the bullies and conmen, the people who try to shame u...[Read more]