I hate smoking sections, unless we’re talking about the movie The Mask, with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part!
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
Did you guys hear about that new deal that you go in on it with a cast member from That 70’s Show you get a discount on mustard and/or salad toppings? It’s a Laura Prepon Grey Poupon Crouton Groupon.
It’s silly that when you’re in a cold car and you want heat, cold air comes out first and it makes you colder. They should fix that!
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
Downhill and uphill are both bad, it’s weird that they both mean a bad thing. “It’s all downhill from here” or “it’s all uphill from here.” Those are both shitty!
I think there should be a contraption for putting on socks. But wouldn’t that be cool if there were two socks upright in this metal bracket on the ground and you just put your feet into it.
I like a vagina to be nice and bald. Nothing makes my penis harder than when a girl’s vagina looks like a baby’s butt.
If there’s three people sitting in the back seat of a car or something… Say I’m in the middle, and Huell and Michael are on either side of me, and people go: “Hey that’s a Huell and Michael sandwich!” But no, cause you don’t identify a sandwich by its bread. You don’t say it’s a white-bread sandwich.
Does anyone genuinely know why at grocery stores they offer a cash back option? Is that just to be nice? That’s like the bank offering you zucchinis!
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
I just found out that McDonalds tortures their chickens; they boil them alive and slit their throats or something, and all sorts of crazy shit. But when I found this out I couldn’t believe it: that they use chicken in chicken nuggets, because I’ve never seen part of a chicken that is shaped naturally like a boot or an oval.
(I call this one “Fun with words”). I’ve said, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again” before, but I’ll say, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again” again.
I think there should be a contraption for putting on socks. But wouldn’t that be cool if there were two socks upright in this metal bracket on the ground and you just put your feet into it.
You know when people say, “I’ve read studies” or “There’s been studies”… Let’s be honest, there’s probably been one study, or they read one study. I don’t think a lot of people read multiple studies on things.
People say, “I LOL’d”. It should be “L’d OL” because you don’t “laugh out loud-ed”. You laughed out loud.
I treated myself to a marathon jerk sesh last night. Not what it sounds like: I watched “The Jerk” twice while masturbating.
This is my impression of a good dentist with a good family: “Getting my son to clean his room is like pulling teeth! Really easy!”
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Harris Wittels