I think it’s insane that car radios exist. Period. All it is, it’s only a distraction. Like “oh I’m bored driving this two ton piece of metal, I should be able to do another activity”? And that car companies are like “Yes, this is a standard thing, this distraction we’ll put in your car.” We should only be driving like “whoa!!” the whole time!
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
More
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
This is a new character, he’s called Harvey Dangerfield: “I’m not sick but I’m not well, I get no respect!” That’s it.
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
I like a vagina to be nice and bald. Nothing makes my penis harder than when a girl’s vagina looks like a baby’s butt.
You know how people over-pronounce something they’ll go “HW-eat thin!” or “HW-ile.” That’s a thing that proper folk do. But it should be “W-Heat thin” or “W-Hile”. Why does the H come before the W just because you’re pronouncing it like that?
Remember a time when everyone in America just seemed to have steak in their refrigerators, and they would put it on someone’s eye if they had a black eye? You don’t see that much anymore.
This is a true story: One time I said to a guy that I loved learning new things. I was like, “I’m a bit of an infomaniac.” And he thought I said nymphomaniac. So he fucked me. And I said, “No, no, no! I like info! I’m an infomanic!” and he said, “Well here’s some info, you just got fucked. Clean yourself up!”
I’m starting a campaign to change bygones into something. Everyone’s always trying to let them be bygones.
It’s weird that pineapple supposedly makes your semen taste better, yet semen makes pineapple taste terrible!
I think there should be a contraption for putting on socks. But wouldn’t that be cool if there were two socks upright in this metal bracket on the ground and you just put your feet into it.
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
I’m pretty sad today. I just had my first unenjoyable Gotye listening session. I knew it was coming but now it’s just “Somebody That I Used to Know” that I used to know.
How come the shelves at Bed, Bath and Beyond be so tall? They should just call that place Tall Shelves, Tall Shelves, and Tall Shelves.
Popular categories
Foam corner
Making a show
Inside baseball
Filmmaking
Favorite books
Favorite comedians
Coming up with ideas
Relationship with other comics
Advice for aspiring comedians
Childhood
General life advice
Writing
Favorite movies
Acting
Relationship with fans
Working with other comedians
Styles of comedy
Performing
Podcasting
Comedic influences
Saturday Night Live
Favorite memories as a comedian
Favorite music
Reflecting on own work
Fan stories
Favorite jokes
Creativity
Finding your voice
Yuks
Screenwriting
Harris Wittels