You know when someone asks you a question, like if I said “Do you know the time” and you go “What? Oh it’s 7.” Why did you say “What?” You then went on to answer the question, so don’t fuckin’ waste my time.
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
I think it’s insane that car radios exist. Period. All it is, it’s only a distraction. Like “oh I’m bored driving this two ton piece of metal, I should be able to do another activity”? And that car companies are like “Yes, this is a standard thing, this distraction we’ll put in your car.” We should only be driving like “whoa!!” the whole time!
I hate smoking sections, unless we’re talking about the movie The Mask, with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part!
I went to a Jack-in-the-Box that was open 24 hours and I got there at the 26th hour and it was closed.
I bought a backpack at a store yesterday and the woman at the register asked if I wanted a bag for it. I said “Lady, that’s what it is!”
You know how everyone says to get your porn name; you use your pet’s name and the street you grew up on? I have a new system and it works for anybody. Take your first name; change it to “Sir”. Then take your last name and change it to “Fucksalot”.
I’m starting a campaign to change bygones into something. Everyone’s always trying to let them be bygones.
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
You know how everyone says if you’re gonna get a dog you should adopt it? All fucking dogs are adopted! No one shoots dogs out of their pussies. Unless you’re Mrs. Brodis, Snoop’s mom.
People say, “I LOL’d”. It should be “L’d OL” because you don’t “laugh out loud-ed”. You laughed out loud.
This is a new character, he’s called Harvey Dangerfield: “I’m not sick but I’m not well, I get no respect!” That’s it.
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
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