The next rule is “make statements” which is a positive way of saying don’t ask questions all the time … if we’re in a scene and I say “who are you?” or “where are we?” or “what’s in that box?”, I am putting all of the pressure on you to come up with the answers … in other words, whatever the problem, be part of the solution … don’t just sit around raising questions and putting up obstacles.

My advice is work hard to accomplish your goals, stay humble and try to empathize with people who hurt you. Because you will be hurt by friends, family, partners and it will feel very intense because you're young. Think about how awful high school was and how it felt as though it would never end and you never even think about it now - I think our twenties will be like that too.

Life advice? Oh boy. I don't know, it's a tie between "Keep on keepin' on" and "Life's a garden, dig it." But I don't have any great secrets other than I think I have to believe it all happens for a reason, because whatever happens, even if it's hard to get through, it ultimately seems to work out. Sorry if that's too heavy for everybody.

Always pursue your goal and never give up. If someone can talk you out of what you want to be, then you don't to be it. A friend of mine's father, when I was 18, would walk down the street with me and say "What are you crazy?! You want to be Arthur Godfrey? What are you nuts!? Come work at my factory, I'll make you a foreman someday!" And I never gave up.

I probably wouldn't tell me shit. I would probably say, "Good luck, bitch!" One of the most fascinating lessons I've absorbed about life is that the struggle is good. You can't know tomorrow, because if you did you would never go about trying to create it the same way. The uncertainty and doubt that fuck with our minds are the same forces that make accomplishments and achievements so fucking amazing when you pull them off. It's almost like life has to suck sometimes to appreciate what's cool. My 20 year old self would have to figure out all this shit the hard way, just like I did. Just like I'm still doing today. If I could go forward in time to when I'm 90 I would probably give the me of t...[Read more]

I suppose I am most proud of the fact that I am still here working in comedy and doing what I love. In life there are a lot of forces that can try to bring you down, but if you stick to your vision and keep at it, you will find success.

I saw a movie once where Spencer Tracy catches this woman about to kill herself — it's a pretty dark movie for the time — but I forget the name of the movie ["I Take This Woman"], but Spencer Tracy is on a boat and sees a rich, young girl about to throw herself off the boat because her fiance left her for another woman and he's trying to talk her out of suicide and he says to her, "Do you have a job? Do you have anything that you do in your life?" which was a funny thing to ask because she's, like, a 1920s socialite and she said, "No," and he said, "I think you should get a job, because it's very hard to be sad and useful at the same time." Ever since I saw that I keep that in my head. If y...[Read more]

Exercise your right to vote! Whatever you feel drunk, stop, because 18 year olds have a hard time figuring out how much they can drink. Be with a good friend who can make sure you get home safe, and try one new thing on your birthday every year.

A person once said to me that the homeless never get touched and that without human touch, the mind veers toward madness. So the homeless people I approach, I always give my money to, whatever it is I have, and I always hug them or touch them.

I started when i was 17. I got a good head start, skill-building wise, but I sometimes think I missed out on a lot of “Life” that I could be drawing from now. Try to go to college and get some knowlege. If you don’t do that, make a deliberate attempt to read a lot and educate yourself, so that you don’t just become a siv for American pop culture. If you spend all your time on stage talking about the cover of People magazine, you won’t go far, you won’t last, and you’ll be bored before you get good. Take advantage of the head start you’re giving yourself by stopping as often as possible to live your life, explore America and grow as a person. When you go to some shit town to do a one-nighte...[Read more]

The first rule of improvisation is “agree” always agree and say “yes” … when you are improvising this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created … so if we’re improvising and I say “freeze I have a gun” and you say “that’s not a gun, it’s your finger” our improvised scene has ground to a halt … now in real life you are obviously not going to agree with everything everyone always says but the “rule of agreement” gets you to at least start from an open minded place … start with a “yes” and see where that takes you … as an improvisor I always find it jarring in real life when I meet someone who’s first answer is “no” …

Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier

You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

I wouldn't!! Not because I didn't make SO MANY MISTAKES but because those mistakes led me to my wife and because I met her I got to be the father to this amazing kid that teaches me that the ladder across the abyss is made of mistakes.

Andre Gregory, the theatre director and writer, once told me that the world wants you cynical. To keep your heart open to possibility. I really took that to heart. The world needs hope, service, humor and love. It's way too easy to stay jaded and cynical and pessimistic. Such an easy fall-back position - anyone can do it.

Q: You seem like the kind of guy that doesn’t give too much of a shit about what anyone thinks. What's your best advice on handling or taking criticism? A: Well, you're wrong. It's kind of the opposite...I only give a shit about what anyone thinks. So much so that I've been through stuff where I had to just face the painful fact that a lot of people aren't going to be predisposed to like me...and that the harder I try to CHANGE that, the less likable I become. At a certain point I think a lot of us make the practical calculation, and say "well, I'm not really getting anywhere trying to justify myself to anyone...and come to think of it, people justifying themselves to me aren't my favorite ...[Read more]

[Are you a healthy comedian? - Louis asked this question to those in the "Alt Standup Comedy Google Group"] I know a lot of you out there have a diet that consists of Hardees and Taco Bell with the occasional frozen buffalo wings heated up in the condo microwave, and that your exercize regimen… doesn’t exist. Personally, one of the reasons I chose standup as a life is because it allowed me to lie on a floor for several hours eating lard and crying, only having to pull myself together for an hour a day or so. But if you want to have any longevity as a comedian, or if you want
 your brain and body to provide you with any consistent creative flow, 
you have to eat somewhat right and do some ex...[Read more]

It will be okay. i promise you. stay close to your instincts. be vulnerable with your heart. wear your seatbelt. dont spray seed in a town you wouldnt want to raise a child in.

Well, I would say: Holy Ghost Power (you've got to be one of God's favorites, because he whispers in my ear EVERY Day). But here's the REAL answer: moderation, and do what you are supposed to do. Listen to that little voice. You'll be a lot less stressed. Most stress comes from the fact that we're lying to ourselves and the people around us. Follow your primal impulse. And realize that there's no escaping plain old death.

After three years of reading youtube comments, I found one that didn't make me want to puke and kill myself. Some kid, talking to another kid underneath a music video: "first things first buddy, no matter how hard you try i guarantee you wont change the way anyone thinks or acts." If I could put that thought in everyone's head on a loop, I could save the world. But, like the kid says, I can't.