I wouldn't!! Not because I didn't make SO MANY MISTAKES but because those mistakes led me to my wife and because I met her I got to be the father to this amazing kid that teaches me that the ladder across the abyss is made of mistakes.

Life advice? Oh boy. I don't know, it's a tie between "Keep on keepin' on" and "Life's a garden, dig it." But I don't have any great secrets other than I think I have to believe it all happens for a reason, because whatever happens, even if it's hard to get through, it ultimately seems to work out. Sorry if that's too heavy for everybody.

The second rule of improvisation is to not only say “yes” but “yes and” … you’re supposed to agree and then add something of your own … “if I start a scene and say “it’s so hot in here” and you just say “yeah”, we’re kind of at a standstill … to me, “yes and” means don’t be afraid to contribute, it’s your responsibility to contribute … always make sure you are adding something to the discussion … your initiations are worthwhile …

That's why I wrote to you, not to tell you to change anything about the way you do things, but just to tell you to take it easy. Nothing you do matters as much as you think. Your greatest achievements aren't yours at all, they're accidents and jokes. You're a puppet, the universe does the work, and it gets the most done when you're moving the least. Surrender, flow, relax. Don't be hard on yourself, don't put pressure on yourself, life is just a chain of experiments and results, and you'll be perfect when you're dead.

"Pay attention to what people do, not what they say."

Q: You seem like the kind of guy that doesn’t give too much of a shit about what anyone thinks. What's your best advice on handling or taking criticism? A: Well, you're wrong. It's kind of the opposite...I only give a shit about what anyone thinks. So much so that I've been through stuff where I had to just face the painful fact that a lot of people aren't going to be predisposed to like me...and that the harder I try to CHANGE that, the less likable I become. At a certain point I think a lot of us make the practical calculation, and say "well, I'm not really getting anywhere trying to justify myself to anyone...and come to think of it, people justifying themselves to me aren't my favorite ...[Read more]

It will be okay. i promise you. stay close to your instincts. be vulnerable with your heart. wear your seatbelt. dont spray seed in a town you wouldnt want to raise a child in.

After three years of reading youtube comments, I found one that didn't make me want to puke and kill myself. Some kid, talking to another kid underneath a music video: "first things first buddy, no matter how hard you try i guarantee you wont change the way anyone thinks or acts." If I could put that thought in everyone's head on a loop, I could save the world. But, like the kid says, I can't.

You know, there's weddings and then there's marriage. Weddings, I think, are the biggest waste of money and emotion that humans participate in their life. Now the marriage, I think, I don't know, all the advice I'm going to give you you're gonna ignore anyway, you know what I mean? It's like a commencement speech. They're all kind of entertaining and we watch them online for a little bit and then we forget it. But I would say, before a wedding? Have fun at your wedding. Don't feel like you have to talk to your friends- I mean to your parent's friends or your in-laws. Just have fun with whoever you're marrying and have good food. You know? That's all people really care about, is food. I mean,...[Read more]

Don't be afraid of life the way I was. Get married, start a family, you'll be fine. I waited way too long to do it and I have a lot of regret about that. It'll be the best thing you ever do.

I suppose I am most proud of the fact that I am still here working in comedy and doing what I love. In life there are a lot of forces that can try to bring you down, but if you stick to your vision and keep at it, you will find success.

A person once said to me that the homeless never get touched and that without human touch, the mind veers toward madness. So the homeless people I approach, I always give my money to, whatever it is I have, and I always hug them or touch them.

The next rule is “make statements” which is a positive way of saying don’t ask questions all the time … if we’re in a scene and I say “who are you?” or “where are we?” or “what’s in that box?”, I am putting all of the pressure on you to come up with the answers … in other words, whatever the problem, be part of the solution … don’t just sit around raising questions and putting up obstacles.

If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly. (Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)

Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier

I probably wouldn't tell me shit. I would probably say, "Good luck, bitch!" One of the most fascinating lessons I've absorbed about life is that the struggle is good. You can't know tomorrow, because if you did you would never go about trying to create it the same way. The uncertainty and doubt that fuck with our minds are the same forces that make accomplishments and achievements so fucking amazing when you pull them off. It's almost like life has to suck sometimes to appreciate what's cool. My 20 year old self would have to figure out all this shit the hard way, just like I did. Just like I'm still doing today. If I could go forward in time to when I'm 90 I would probably give the me of t...[Read more]

Always pursue your goal and never give up. If someone can talk you out of what you want to be, then you don't to be it. A friend of mine's father, when I was 18, would walk down the street with me and say "What are you crazy?! You want to be Arthur Godfrey? What are you nuts!? Come work at my factory, I'll make you a foreman someday!" And I never gave up.

That every moment in life is precious? That the gifts of your relationships with others, don't miss it. That was one of the hardest movies I think I ever did in my whole career. Every day was literally hell, because of the nature of the subject matter, dealing with death and being in hell literally. When I watched the final movie, I felt it was extraordinarily beautiful but I felt disappointed by the ending. There was a different ending that they shot that I felt was much more true to the story. It was about reincarnation, basically, that they were going to meet again. The movie ended with two babies being born simultaneously, one in Bombay and one in the United States, and they held them up...[Read more]

Well, I would say: Holy Ghost Power (you've got to be one of God's favorites, because he whispers in my ear EVERY Day). But here's the REAL answer: moderation, and do what you are supposed to do. Listen to that little voice. You'll be a lot less stressed. Most stress comes from the fact that we're lying to ourselves and the people around us. Follow your primal impulse. And realize that there's no escaping plain old death.

My advice is work hard to accomplish your goals, stay humble and try to empathize with people who hurt you. Because you will be hurt by friends, family, partners and it will feel very intense because you're young. Think about how awful high school was and how it felt as though it would never end and you never even think about it now - I think our twenties will be like that too.