Can I leave on a good invention I thought of? Food tape: it’s like edible adhesive tape that you can put around ice cream cones, or your sandwiches if they break, or your tacos, and it’s edible and flavorless. Oh, but there’s a slogan too: “Cause food breaks!”
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
Can I ask you a question, Scott? Cause I can’t find this anywhere. Is the movie Precious based on the book Push by Sapphire?
I bought a book on how to read. That thing was impossible to get through! (Then Scott explains that they did that exact joke – but better – on his TV show).
I think that an e-mail should be called an e-letter. You say, “I just got an e-mail”, but you wouldn’t say “I just got a mail.” You’d sound stupid.
You know how everyone says if you’re gonna get a dog you should adopt it? All fucking dogs are adopted! No one shoots dogs out of their pussies. Unless you’re Mrs. Brodis, Snoop’s mom.
This is my impression of a good dentist with a good family: “Getting my son to clean his room is like pulling teeth! Really easy!”
I think there should be a contraption for putting on socks. But wouldn’t that be cool if there were two socks upright in this metal bracket on the ground and you just put your feet into it.
I hate smoking sections, unless we’re talking about the movie The Mask, with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part!
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
How come the shelves at Bed, Bath and Beyond be so tall? They should just call that place Tall Shelves, Tall Shelves, and Tall Shelves.
You know how everyone says if you’re gonna get a dog you should adopt it? All fucking dogs are adopted! No one shoots dogs out of their pussies. Unless you’re Mrs. Brodis, Snoop’s mom.
If you go into a bank, can you get in trouble for yelling, “everybody get down!” without a gun or anything? Can you get in trouble for telling everyone to get down? No, James Brown does it every night!
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