I’m not impressed by juggling. Ok whatever you learned how to do that. That’s not a thing I chose to learn.
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
It’s funny that if air comes out of your butthole, it’s gross. If it comes out of your mouth, it’s funny. And if it comes out of your penis, it’s cool.
I’m pretty sad today. I just had my first unenjoyable Gotye listening session. I knew it was coming but now it’s just “Somebody That I Used to Know” that I used to know.
You know how everyone says to get your porn name; you use your pet’s name and the street you grew up on? I have a new system and it works for anybody. Take your first name; change it to “Sir”. Then take your last name and change it to “Fucksalot”.
I like a vagina to be nice and bald. Nothing makes my penis harder than when a girl’s vagina looks like a baby’s butt.
I just found out that McDonalds tortures their chickens; they boil them alive and slit their throats or something, and all sorts of crazy shit. But when I found this out I couldn’t believe it: that they use chicken in chicken nuggets, because I’ve never seen part of a chicken that is shaped naturally like a boot or an oval.
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
I think there should be a contraption for putting on socks. But wouldn’t that be cool if there were two socks upright in this metal bracket on the ground and you just put your feet into it.
You know how people over-pronounce something they’ll go “HW-eat thin!” or “HW-ile.” That’s a thing that proper folk do. But it should be “W-Heat thin” or “W-Hile”. Why does the H come before the W just because you’re pronouncing it like that?
If you go into a bank, can you get in trouble for yelling, “everybody get down!” without a gun or anything? Can you get in trouble for telling everyone to get down? No, James Brown does it every night!
I think that Freud just really wanted to fuck his mom and then was like “Hey guys, isn’t it crazy that we all wanna do that?” And then his friends were probably like “I don’t!” And he’s like “Yeah you do, I’m fuckin’ Freud”.
I just found out that McDonalds tortures their chickens; they boil them alive and slit their throats or something, and all sorts of crazy shit. But when I found this out I couldn’t believe it: that they use chicken in chicken nuggets, because I’ve never seen part of a chicken that is shaped naturally like a boot or an oval.
I bought a book on how to read. That thing was impossible to get through! (Then Scott explains that they did that exact joke – but better – on his TV show).
Does anyone genuinely know why at grocery stores they offer a cash back option? Is that just to be nice? That’s like the bank offering you zucchinis!
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